Blah, Blah, Blah...

Blah Blah Blah.....

No, this is not what I hear or say.  This is how I too often feel!


Stay at home moms...I know I am not alone, right?  We all can easily get ensnared by that monster of discontentment.  Sometimes I just don't even feel like a real person.  My identity becomes all too immersed and intertwined with that of nanny, maid, and personal assistant.

Don't get me wrong.  It it my biggest pleasure and privilege to be a stay at home mom.  And it comes at QUITE a sacrifice to all!.....but, how can I be more content with life?  I crave excitement.  I long for spontaneity.  But I'm also easily stressed out, and so do well with the routine and fairly slow pace of the stay at home life (if you can call TWO VERY rambunctious toddlers and all that goes with that SLOW PACED).

I just find myself constantly stuck between bored and discontent, or overly stressed and discontent.  I have yet to find this magic balance I crave.  I know these early years are tough, but I just feel I should be happier and more content than I am?  Am I just difficult to please?  Is this totally common or normal?  How can I fix this?

I just want to feel like a well-rounded whole person.  But HOW, when this phase of life is completely (it feels) overrun with only caring for others 24/7?  And when I have a spare moment, I don't even know what to do.  I was one who never really knew myself (cliche I know, but true) before I got married.  I started learning, but I haven't really had a chance to find what ELSE I love (besides my family) and that I can actually be involved with (time, money, feasibility of all kinds...) that will bring me greater joy and fulfillment and help me feel whole.  Everything I've ever really tried, doesn't seem to work for long.

So I ask you?  Am a just ADD?  Chronically discontent with life and need to seek help in general?  Or does this seem common enough to you that I should comfort myself with the age old adage of "this too shall pass" and try to minimize stressing over my discontent feelings?

What say you, my mighty force of followers?
(You are at least reading this, right grandma?)

Love to all, thank you for reading or skimming my meanderings.

Mega Mama